javaddward:

anonymously tell me your credit card number ill reply with what i bought

(via stop)

ohshititsgreg:

A part of me dies every time no one gets my joke

(via tightvaginas)

helpfvl:

when u hear someone talking shit about someone u hate

image

(via tightvaginas)

meladoodle:

*prosecuting lawyer voice* i have only one question for the defendant… ‘guiltypersonsayswhat?’
“what?” 
haha owned you’re going to jail

(via piercing-paradox)

peclro:

sext: my mom can pick up if your mom can drop us off

(via tightvaginas)

weaselmittens:

Blood type: $$$

(via stop)

getinthefuckingjaeger:

nostopdasgay:

catslock:

condelimoncio:

 MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE

THAT’S CHEATING

This is a blatant violation of trust

YOU LYING FUCKS I SPENT MY WHOLE LIFE ADMIRING THE BRICK LAYERS THAT ALWAYS LAY THE BRICKS NEAT AND PERFECTLY LINED UP HOLY SHIT I LOOK UP TO YOU HOW COULD YOU

(via piercing-paradox)

yelled:

me attempting to reach the goals I’ve set in life

image

(via kingsleyyy)

deduct:

i really wanna be in a movie but on the other hand, i’d probably make them delete the every scene because i looked bad

(via affords)